Having a newborn in the house is possibly the most all consuming thing anyone will ever deal with. When you’re a new parent and have a wriggly, hungry baby crying in your arms, it’s impossible to do anything other than pay attention to them!
But as time goes on, the need to still live an adult life starts to creep back in. The house is a state, you’ve only got so much time left on parental leave, and it’s been at least 2 weeks since you last texted your best friend.
All in all, you can end up feeling pretty guilty about not being able to stay on top of these needs as well.
But your baby will still come first; forever and always. And that isn’t actually a problem, no matter who might be getting on at you to finally give those dishes in the sink a wash!
Focusing on your newborn is the best thing to do right now. And when it feels like that is getting hard, there are things you can do to ease the pressure. We’ve recommended a few of the best below.
Let Non-Baby Tasks Fall to the Bottom of the List
It’s OK not to have a perfectly clean house, and to be overdue to get the laundry done. Really, it is! You’ve got a newborn to take care of, and that takes priority over most other things in life.
People underestimate all the time just how much effort it is to look after a baby. It’s a never-ending job that just evolves as time goes on and your child starts to grow.
That’s something you may have to accept as well. Your home may never be the kind of spick and span it used to be until your child is well into their teen years.
And stop rushing yourself. It takes time to adjust to seeing to your newborn AND being able to throw away the remains of that microwave ready meal, wash up, and put everything away.
It’s OK if you haven’t quite got the routine down to a point where you can whip around the house with the baby in a papoose yet!
Get the Right Kind of Support
If someone wants to come over to see you and the baby, feel free to let them come over! If you’ve got the energy to sit up and have a coffee with a loved one, you’re well within your rights to do so.
However, if someone is badgering you to come over and you’re really not up to, tell them the reason why. Let them know what’s getting to you, and why you’re feeling so snowed under.
You’ll be surprised just how much help they offer in that moment. And when they do, take it.
Don’t say that it’s fine. Don’t say that you just need a little more time. Accept the help, let them come round, and be OK to sit there with your baby while they do some tidying or run an errand for you.
That’ll be a weight off when it comes to focusing on your newborn, and nothing went wrong when you asked for help either!
Don’t Face Sleeping Worries Alone
Newborns are asleep most of the time. When your child is only a week or two old, they may only be awake for a maximum of 30 minutes. And even by the time they’re 3-4 months old, that wake period may have only grown by another 30 minutes.
That means a lot of sleeping worries can crop up. Your baby is asleep nearly all the time, only really waking to feed or when disturbed. But while that sounds like a non-issue, even when babies are asleep, they’re rarely quiet or still!
So a few weeks in, you’re probably a bit all over the place. You’re researching 24/7 to double check if what your baby does in their sleep is normal.
You’re constantly checking if they’re breathing. You’re on the phone to the doctor as you’re concerned about baby grunting sleep problems.
You also start to worry that they’re not getting enough sleep, or maybe even too much.
When you’re a new parent, those anxious thoughts are worse than ever! And this makes it impossible to focus on how well your baby’s doing.
You’ve made them comfortable, and they’re clearly settling in well. You deserve some time to relax as they’re getting their much-needed sleep hours in! So be sure to share these worries over sleeping with others. Don’t keep them to yourself and try and work them out.
Talk to your partner, your parents, your friends, and other newborn moms and dads. You’ll soon get a world of perspective on baby sleep behaviors and patterns, and that’ll make it much easier to refocus and pick up a bit more energy again.
Focusing on Your Newborn Should Never Feel Impossible
If it does, it’s time to get yourself some help and support. Rely on friends and family to do a few more things for you, whether it’s loading the dishwasher, bringing over some pre-cooked meals, or running the vacuum around the house when you need 20 minutes to lie on the sofa.
None of these things are too much to ask, and you’re not a bad parent for needing someone else to take care of these tasks.
And that brings us to the second point: it’s also time to stop putting pressure on yourself to resume life as normal.
You’ve got a newborn in the house, and that changes more than just your household size! You’re going to be knee-deep in baby clothes and toys, diapers and bottles, and plenty of clutter that wasn’t there before you had a baby!
When you remove this kind of pressure, and reach out and accept a bit of help, you’ll find the newborn weeks far more fulfilling. Stop thinking about the ever expanding to-do list and let yourself focus on the baby in your arms!
