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I have noticed those scary-looking items you come home with and it didn’t take me long to recognize those. The candy, the window clings with pumpkins and witches, that fuzzy white cob-web stuff you annoyingly put too high for my reach so I can’t play with it. It is almost Halloween, isn’t it? Ugh! Isn’t that the day where my evening lazy time will be constantly interrupted by loud voices and the doorbell that won’t stop? In all of my dog years, what is the proper protocol this night? You say “Good Dog” and I get pet treats any other time the bell rings and I jump to protect you, but on this night I get yelled at and sometimes even locked in a room because apparently I am not to protect? I don’t get it!
Just so you know, you DO NOT have to get me a costume. I know nephew, Anthony thinks I’m cute and loves showing me off, but really? Hey, I know-can I go as a dog this year? That would be great-just call me Dog for Halloween! Oh, you bought me wings and a tutu-OMG! Fine! If you promise I can hang by your side and don’t mind my anxious personality when that doorbell won’t quit I will wear the fairy costume. Fairy Dog…that’s just great! I expect a lot of Big Heart Pet Treats for this!
Can I give you a few tips for halloween night? Please know that when that doorbell keeps ringing, it drives me so insane that when you add unfamiliar children voices I may do irrational things! Please don’t let me get outside unleashed. If I were to lose my mind and run off outside I am going to suddenly realize this night is just not right and will try to escape it so I may run and run! I don’t want to run so far I am lost and scared. Just keep me close, take me out with you and the kids so I feel secure. And as much as I hate to admit this, chocolate is toxic to me! Especially baking and dark chocolate, so help my lack of self control and keep it away from me. Tell the kids too because they are suckers to giving into my pleas!
My last tip is that you know I love my treats! You recently came home with some Milo’s Kitchen Treats and I went nuts over them, remember? I was thinking, since you let the kids overeat candy that night, can you over-reward me with those treats! I can even tell you how to save on these treats they call Big Heart Pet Treats from that Kroger or Fred Meyer store you shop at. I hear things-I am NOT ALWAYS sleeping! There is a website that takes you to those pet treats you go to and answer some fun questions about me. Then you get to upload and create a frame for one of those absurd photos of me in my tutu and share it. So, because I promise to be compliant as the “Fairy Dog”, go ahead and share my photo because then you get coupons for those treats I love like Milo’s Kitchen, Milkbone, Pup-Peroni and Canine Carryouts. Any of those are just fine with me! Please keep me close, don’t feed me candy and reward me all night long!
Gracie (the Dog)
Disclosure: Parenting Healthy was compensated for this post. All opinions are 100% my own.